This is both a love letter to my new favorite band (even though, I don't think I had an old favorite) and also a letter to myself about ten years from now. This is the letter that Celeste A. _____, MD (not that I'm hoping for a new last name but, anything could happen) will need to read after performing her umpteenth baby delivery or physical exam or appendectomy. When she's feeling consumed by the pagers and pages of that essay she owes the New Yorker which won't write themselves.
There was a point in time, not too long ago, mind you, that the lyrics with which your younger self could most closely relate were "after 25 years I should be good at something/gone are the days of me being so innocent." The words were sung by Rachael Price, lead singer of your then-favorite band, Lake Street Dive. You ranked the album those lyrics came from, Bad Self Portraits, as number three of your instant classics. Ranked only behind The College Dropout and Section 80, Bad Self Portraits was the soundtrack to your final six months before starting medical school. You didn't feel quite like you were an expert at anything by age 25, but I think you were pretty good at living in the moment and trying to find the lesson in those moments, instead of lamenting. That's good at something. Don't lose that. Or, if you've lost it, remember you had it once.
When you're feeling like you can't figure out the latest problem life's thrown at you, Celeste _____, MD, remember you spent a year and a half without a microwave. When you're feeling monotonous, remember you learned to cook and enjoy shrimp. When you're craving romance, remember you went on dates with nice guys and gentlemen, and when you're feeling impatient remember you also went on a date with a guy who thought a fun Saturday morning date meant having you run a mile while strapped to a tractor tire. All of these things and more were things you experienced living in Washington, DC. In 18 short months, you went from a four-time MCAT taker and wet-behind-the-ears employee to a confident Metrobus rider and published writer. You didn't wait for some magazine or Instagram likes or award ceremony to feel validated in your lived life. You jumped into experiences feet first, so you could stand self-assured and be self-supportive.
You got into the school of your dreams. You, whom life usually surprises and brings unexpected turns, you prayed and prayed for something and three years later, God saw fit to place you at the very same school you prayed to go to. So don't ever think that you know best; just remember that if you pray hard enough and fail (and try again) enough at something, you might get exactly what you want, but only after God teaches you what you'll need to excel there.
If you haven't yet reached your dreams, Celeste _____, MD, if you haven't yet started your nonprofit or become a contributing writer for a major magazine like Atul Gawande, or if you are having issues with family or you hate your haircut or life feels THIS BIG and you're just lost in it, remember that you wrote this on a bus. You wrote this on a flash-flood-warning-rainstorming Friday while riding on the L2. You were late-ish to work. But, you were on your way. And you still are.
